I Need You To Love Me

The House of Mirth
by Edith Wharton

Book 2, chap VII

Lily has finally resolved herself to a solution and on a walk with Mr. Rosedale, she informs him, " 'I am ready to marry you whenever you wish' " (Wharton, 205).  But to her utter surprise, Mr. Rosedale rejects her.  A year ago, Mr. Rosedale loved Lily and knew she could help his social standing, so he wanted to marry her.  But at that time, Lily was almost repulsed by him and thought she could do better.  A year later, things have changed and Mr. Rosedale tells Lily, " 'I'm more on love with you than ever, but if I married you now I'd queer myself for good and all, and everything I've worked for all these years would be wasted' " (Wharton, 208).  In essence, a year a ago Rosedale wanted Lily and Lily didn't need him; now, Lily needs Rosedale and Rosedale doesn't want Lily.  Lily initially denied Rosedale, but now that she needs him, she wishes for him to want her again.  This reminds me of a Barlow Girl song called "I Need You To Love Me."  A quote from the song goes like this, "I need you to love me, and I won't keep my heart from you this time..."

Barlow Girl is actually a Christian band, but if you ignore the religious context of the song, it fits quite well into Lily's situation.

On another note, Mr. Rosedale no longer seems as repulsive and resembling Mr. Penguin as he did before.  His character gains more complexity.  He still works tirelessly to insert himself into high society, as we learned at the beginning of the novel.  But as we see now, he really is capable of love and the desire to help others.  He lays out to Lily a plan in which she can get back into Mrs. Dorset's circle by demonstrating power over her, resulting in Mr. Rosedale agreeing to marry Lily.  In this way, the author slightly develops the character of Mr. Rosedale, and I hate him a little less than I did before.  Even though his plan was quite clever, I'm glad Lily denied, especially since it could have hurt Selden.  I'm still desperately hoping that those two wayward souls will end up together, despite their troubles and separation.

Though Selden and Lily may not be as romantic as this couple,
I hope they can take a hint from these two determined lovers